Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Journal 149 On the subject of

One of the better issues of O Magazine was February 2012--I am just reading it  now, in depth, and I now understand how a friend of mine spent 3 days on vackay reading it.
My fave article so far (after all the de-cluttering ones) is the Katie and Meredith go to Mexican boot camp story....
I am paraphrasing (this came to me today as I shuttled from a meeting downtown where I was stuck in traffic, under a bridge, then back into the sunlight, watching streams of people, all dressed for work, traipse by me) this line from one of the girls in the article :

"What struck me was I never split a bottle of wine with a friend anymore.
Even before my schedule crossed over to "death-wish" territory, I'd
spent the last decade struggling to pay rent {been there}, get promoted
{yep} and still fit into my college jeans {hmm}. But at what cost?"
I truly teared up reading this. Who CAN'T relate?

I went to get coffee after my meeting and saw people with laptops dotted about the Second Cup, doing whatever they were doing (working remotely, perhaps job hunting remotely), some were having three-person meetings (the Second Cup was in the foot of an office building) and I did have a sense of momentary calm--I had somewhere to go where I was expected (my office, for the rest of the balmy spring day ahead) and I had just finished a positive meeting, one that resulted in me having
alot of work to do, but I can handle that; and knowing what I had to get done ahead of me, at least for the next few days/weeks, helped me feel "ordered" and routine.
And after reading the recent news about our 'city under siege' and provincial cuts (dreadful), I felt very lucky. (I read the paper in the waiting room of the company I was meeting with. Mistake. As Deepak Chopra says in Oprah, avoid the pull of bad news and sensationalism.  Oh so true. It just invades the peace and erodes the inner life more and more each time I let myself get 'pulled'.
Lately I've felt pulled, too. And I've noticed alot of other people saying the same thing. An over-packed schedule, for me, is a death-wish. I need so much downtime to wind off from a high-pressure job.
And I need to stop apologizing for needing this time.
I also need solitude. Mike is not here, I have to digest it and I need time to do it. I know that what it often seems like is that I am being anti-social, but I liken it to anyone whose gone through a change in their life, be it a parent's death, having kids, moving--you need time to re-adjust, and sometimes things fall through the cracks.
Taking a look around my loft the past little while, I realize just how much "survival" went into the last year.  Things are dusty. They are a little worse for wear.  I haven't been as hyper-organized or super-driven since last spring, the spring before even, when what I like to nickname the 'tailspin' began.
I ambitiously took out some spring/summer wear this morning, with the ironing board, to begin ironing a bunch of t-shirts, pants, tops, etc., to have some nice, neat outfits to weather out this heat-wave, and realized my iron no longer worked. I have no idea when it stopped working. I just know I haven't ironed a very very long time. (my fall back is to throw a damp towel in the dryer with said wrinkled clothing. I know. Terrible for the environment. Anyway...I digress. I need an iron).
I cleaned out the fridge and freezer last night, am planning on some dusting as soon as I finish writing this, and I have to tackle my bathroom and its plethora of products soon. This was in the Oprah mag too. About how some women buy sooo much extra products they wind up forgetting they have them, and buy them again (guilty).
Ok, my hair is now coloured as of last night (nice chocolate-y shade) and I booked a cut for Saturday.
My weekend is all sewn up with "me" type plans, and I've been eating leftovers, no joke, all week.
Other good things: My office was freezing today (I loved ) and I drank cold coffee while designing the afternoon away.

Someone send me a girl scout badge.

No comments:

Post a Comment