Sunday, May 1, 2011

Journal 8--My Voice

I wake up, lately, with heart-pounding anxiety, usually at about 4am. It's been going on for months.
When I don't wake up with this at 4am, I wake up on the weekend at a 'normal' time, but my heart is still pounding. What gives? I haven't even DONE anything to start the day yet, nothing has happened, I haven't even moved from my square in the bed, and yet...something nags at me.
It's like my writing lately--down in the depths, nothing 'new' to report, just a bunch of journal entries, the way I swore I would write them, at the beginning of the year, but not as diaristical as I would like them (is that even a word?).
If anyone is reading this, I can forgive them one-hundred-percent for being like, "this is god-awful." I re-read and it is. I'm 'telling' not showing.
It might be time for a list or something, a great way to sometimes revitalize dull writing (mine).
For now, I'm going to get my running clothes on (what temperature is it? will I be cold? when will the weather CHANGE INTO SOMETHING I RECOGNIZE?), go outside, and stop this nonsense.

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