Monday, May 9, 2011

Journal 14 Dark Thoughts

"Some people learn through suffering" --A.

If this is the case I must have lots to learn. But I know it must be, for me anyway.

I am simply incapable of doing anything the easy way.

I mean, I'll figure it out eventually; but for now I seem intent on f(cking things up in the grandest of fashions, and in maximizing my self-sabotage. Can't have it now? Don't want it.
Have to wait for something good? Don't want to.

I hope when I wake up tomorrow I see the world in a new light, even just a shade of one, and that I can stop doing the fighting, because I should stay in my corner, but I can't seem to do that.

In the book I'm reading L'Engle talks about how the meek will inherit the earth; as they should, they'll do a good job of it.

How I will hate that.

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