I laugh for no reason.
I cry for no reason.
Actually, there are a million reasons for both reactions, and the random-ness in which I apply them lately is the REAL mystery.
Sad things, like reading an email from my dad where he talks about faith and God and prayers stay with me for ages.
Funny things, like my sister and I talking about what happens when you plan to have cake at an office (everyone takes their full lunch, comes back at 130. hears there is going to be cake at 3:30 and then they do nothing until the cakes shows up. then they all eat the cake. then they go back to their desks, but not before lingering/talking more about the cake they just had.) We had this conversation last night on the phone after both of us had each had our own particularly trying day. I laughed listening to my sister describe this cake story. I've laughed several more times today thinking about this story.
The weather has an effect. I had forgotten that, yes, in fact, the constant, endless days of rain do help contribute to a black mood for me. Running for consecutive days in the bright sunshine, in a running skirt, takes away some of the clouds.
It's early evening, the sun has been warming up my west-facing apartment all afternoon, and there is no sign of the sun going down as we march toward "June's long days".
Last year at this time I was marching along to June, trying to get May over with, ending my very bad relationship with that G person (who? what?) and finding out about his Lollipop.
I remember my sister coming over on the last day of May to bribe me to leave my apartment, and before we went out, sipping champagne, I solemnly declared, standing up in my living room, glass in hand that I was "Done with men". Not that I was going to women, but done, as in Done Dating. Done with Love.
I had my first phone conversation with M. a few days later.
Ah...best laid plans...