Routine revised

I'm here, up before 8:30 am on a Saturday morning, in an effort to get a jump on the heat of today so I can possibly fit a run in.
I don't know how long it will be, I don't know how far I'll go, I don't know how fast (or slow) I will run, but I do know one thing:
I'll probably enjoy it a whole hell of alot more if I don't pack all those lofty expectations on to it.

Last night when I went to bed, read the current Madeleine L'Engle book I'm slogging through "A Circle of Quiet".

After I finished reading a few pages, I turned my thoughts to the nature of competition and why some need to feed on it so greedily, and how observant I've become in the last few years watching people clamber and climb to some mythical 'top' only to be no happier, no more satisfied, no more at peace.  It's another reminder to love running for running. To love anything we love just for the sake of it.

I know the saying "joy's in the journey" is an oldie-but-goodie, and I know I'm not quite phrasing it right, but it's true. Learning to run, picking up running again, coming around sideways to enjoyment, involvement in something, that's been the joy for me. The fun. The play.

I do this with work too.  Commit to a project, a job, and work my heart out in making this customer happy, or solving this problem--and I no longer need the big billboard or my own flag proclaiming I'm the best. It's bullsh(t anyway. No one's the best. Or the worst. Well, I guess in sports and in business that's the whole point, but the positions of best and worst are fluid in changing places.

So I'm done feeling sorry for myself on this sunshine-y Saturday morning, one where I get to wake up and ponder Run or no Run? and I can take off any time I want. That in itself is the best.

(footnote: I didn't have the greatest run this morning/afternoon.  Some conflict arose that I couldn't control and it took me a good few kilometres to shake it off.  It was also {still is} blazingly hot out--I just came down from the roof and am getting ready to venture back outside to get some dinner things. Still, I made it out. I ran to the lake, caught up with my mom, made it back, looked at the scenery, ran/walked back along Queen Street East and made a little journey out of it. More later...)