Wednesday, June 20, 2012


It's the first day of summer.
Spring (brief as all hell, as usual, here in Toronto) came and went in a blink. The days have lengthened to a point where I wonder if it will be dark when I go to bed.
Unlike the last two years, I experienced Spring and its rebirth this year, despite the Headache in May, and the flurry of panic that surrounded it.
And now, just like that, it's June, and my dad's been gone for over a year, and I made it through the second father's day without him, and now it's summer again.

This is what I think of when I think of summer:
Life, blurred around the edges from the waves of heat that seem to just...shimmer on those hot hot days.
Impossibly long, slow runs, done first thing in the morning on weekends, because any time after noon is just too hot.
Rooftop tanning, my own private oasis.
Vacation in Maine for the American long weekend, then my 'family' vacation with my sister and her kids and one of our best friends in August, then on my own in September.
Birthdays--Mike's at the beginning of July, mine at the end of August. Reminders that yes, life goes on, and if you're very very lucky, life is long.

All of these things to look forward too.
Problems, in the summer, seem solve-able, or at least put-off-able.
You can just "be", running around in flip-flops and an $8-dollar dress, forgetting you are nearing the last year of your thirties.
Patio weather.
The empty city on weekends, Torontonians fleeing to cooler venues, cottages, the like.
Leaving quiet streets and room to breathe.

I find myself thinking of summers past and what I did when I was ten, thirteen, and twenty-one....
I'll be musing about these summers in posts to come.

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