Thursday, June 7, 2012


I'll admit it.
I saw this blog post on FB today and it got me all riled up.
The comments on the blog-post were even worse, written by the very people that (I assumed) were being satirized by the writer. Then I started reading more comments and realized the writer (I think) was actually serious. think it's okay your friendswithkids (I think it should be oneword) 'forget' about all their non-parent friends?
It's okay when people justify their selfishness by trotting out the parent clause?
That for the most part, people like this were like this wayyyyy before they had children too?

Because I do know a handful of people who have managed to defy these stereotypes.

Non-parents, for the most part (says I...) would be very hurt to know that their friendship with a Parent was contingent on their 'joining the club'.  It was still, last time I checked, a very personal choice (I underline the word choice) to become a parent, and, also, to stay a non-parent. Yes, society tries to create a biological clock for women (I do not believe such a thing exists) to try and make child-bearing and rearing fit into a specific timeframe a kind of "get it while it's hot!" type of mindset, but people who believe that are the same people who develop self-esteem issues when they realize they don' t look exactly like Gisele Bundchen, and therein lies the rub: Society's fault again.

I'm here to tell you:
The fault lies within.

I offer up the misguided women quoted in this article as proof.

It's all a big time-suck, chicks. Think about it. It's easier and much less work for society when women are focussed on bullsh(t like this; planning their 'dream' wedding prior to meeting someone special, and keeping busy by tearing each other down for their personal choices like in the tryingtobegood post I read this morning.

What if we all just respected each other's choices, even if the thought of 'going there' made us want to jump in front of a train?

I didn't go to my high-school prom.
I didn't wear white to my wedding.
I didn't even lift a finger to even plan a wedding;  my beloved and I took a cab with our family and a couple of friends to City Hall and did it our way, quietly, without fanfare.

Because that, to me, is what is so so wrong with society today. We need to be applauded and validated for every goddamn choice we make! Who cares! Live your life! Live it loud! Do whatever the hell you want.  I was having this very conversation with my friend A. last week on this very thing.  And as she is bar-none the most intelligent woman I know, she's covered some major thought-ground on this.
Sometimes people will applaud you, sometimes people will decide you (and your selfish ways) are not for them. 
Sometimes, if a friend drifts away for a time, she's not gone for good. She's gone for a brief period. She might come back, and when she does, be a better friend for it.
We are not, no matter how much society wants us to believe it, lemmings. We don't all have to go over the cliff at a certain point because we want our lives to look just like everyone else's.

So.. celebrate the differences.
Enjoy your life.
We might as well, Parents and Non-parents alike.


  1. I hope I can learn to accept people's choices and still be me ... and not get caught up in a vicious cycle of judging and criticizing. It's so terribly hard sometimes for me.