Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Journal 110 Confessions

Well, not all of them. Just a few.
Again, I'm just doing writing practice right now, while Mike sleeps, and I continue to unceremoniously hack my lungs up with this god-awful cough.

1. I love used bookstores, esp. good ones. Last night, after picking up our pro-wedding photos from our photographer in the Annex, I conspired to get Mike to New Generation Sushi, that great place on Bloor near Spadina, also conveniently located near that HUGE BMV used books. Multi-level. Well-organized. Vast. Cheap. Let me tell you: these used books are like new. Like some miscreant bought it on Amazon or Indigo online and then it arrived, heavy, bulky, looking like a tomb, and they hightailed it over to BMV with the book in tow, perfectly intact, not a mark on it, and gave (sold for a pittance) it away. I got some finds last night.
So here is the confession part: Sometimes I buy more than one copy of the same book. Sometimes it's because I love it so much I want to gift it to someone, or else it's been lent out, so long ago I can't remember when I last saw it and as I've admitted before, I'm a CHRONIC re-reader of books. Not just twice, either, sometimes into the double digits.

2. I have thoroughly enjoyed every second of my time off these past few weeks, and the time has flown. Despite being sick over this last week and rising at the crack of dawn to fuel myself with nyquil/benelyn formula/vitamins/water/gatorade/tea, anything to stop coughing, my time off has been great. So great. It's put ALOT of things into perspective for me, work-wise, as I mentioned in my post yesterday.

3. In addition to watching football (and genuinely appreciating it), I have also started watching (and genuinely appreciating) highlights, game analysis, post-game comments and commentary, interviews with players, and last night, something new: for two hours Mike and I watched a documentary about Bill Belichick, called "A Football Life", parts one and two, back to back.
It was excellent. Other than the fact that Mr. Belichick is friends with Bon Jovi, he seems like a well-rounded individual. (I'm kidding about that. I don't hate Bon Jovi, just his music).
The part where Mr. Belichick visited his father's grave and got a little choked up got me a little choked up, I have to admit.
I also liked how he dissected the team's poor performances after games they lost (this was based on the 2009 season) and how tough he was on them. I turned to Mike after watching that part, at the commercial break, and said "That's what I want to do to my team at my Friday meeting this week". (ie, tell them, get your head in the game, or get out the door). Mike laughed and told me I wouldn't be too popular if I did that. I sulked. I think the whole problem at my job, and I've been analyzing this for a while, is the lack of accountability, the low standards, and the attitude of 'good enough'.
I cannot say this enough: This kind of thing makes.me.crazy.
That's all.

4. I've been really emotional lately. About anything. Everything. I haven't been that calm around my mother. I'm really going to have to try harder. I've also been impatient. Mike hates this, and I know it is my task in my marriage to not put this on him.

5. I'm now reading "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom. I know--I'm jumping on this bandwagon about a decade late, but I needed to get there myself.
I bought (again, used, in perfect condition) a copy of this at BMV last night for under five dollars. So far it's an interesting book. I'm at person Three right now (I'm a very fast reader).
This is the confession part: I am obsessed with knowing what other ordinary people have as their perception of the after-life, since none of us really knows (obviously). I like this assertion, that you meet these five people that you were somehow connected to on earth, and they explain the purpose, and give you the tools, to understand your life. How amazing that would be if we could do that at various points in our lives, like each decade, or maybe every twenty-five years.



Can you imagine? Getting some valuable insight into the why of the what.

I would love that.









*ps this is how I envision Ruby Pier--like Old Orchard Beach in Maine. Vintage. Undisturbed by time. Retro.
photo credit: me

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