Thursday, December 22, 2011

Journal 102 Me, Myself, and I

"Yes, in January"
(That's right NOT June. I know. Hard to wrap the mind around. Try)

"No, I'm not pregnant"
(this is because of the speed from engagement-to-wedding. I've already
watched the long engagements go on around me. One word: HELL)

"No, not in a church"
(Sorry people!)

"No, I'm not wearing white"
(Sorry mom)

"No, not a big wedding"
(It's been an upside-down year)

"It's just It's not what we want"
(Being the centre of attention: So Not Me)

"Nope, not planning on kids"
(Sorry to dash your hopes everyone. No, not just one either)

"Yes, he knows. He doesn't want them either"
(He admits he 'missed the window'. If it was ten years ago we might have done
it. But it's not, and it ain't gonna be)

"No idea where we're going to live."
(It's like that Facebook relationship status they used to have: It's complicated)

Never have I felt more like "myself" than I have in the past little while.
That feeling when you are doing things to please YOU and not OTHER PEOPLE.
It feels great.
My boss is currently trying to deal with the fact that I will be off work for close to three weeks, all in, wedding, honeymoon, and visiting Mike's family in the States.
And for once, I've managed to get past some of the stress of the 'end of work' for vackay time, and remember that I am entitled to time to myself too, and that sixty-hour workweeks have their time and place. And that the train stops tomorrow, mid-day, and I get to get off the ride for a little bit of time, live life, experience some happiness, and stop worrying about everything.

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