Or maybe it was Saturday--
the dates conflicted so I am not sure
except somewhere deep within me
Whether it was the 4th or the 5th.
I still think of you every day
Some days more than others.
I think of things I meant to tell you
and I think about conversations we had.
At times, something you once said to me
Will come at me,
Out of nowhere
When I'm lying in bed late at night, alone.
Often it's something funny, something only you
Could have thought or come up with.
And I will admit, I laugh into my pillow.
And then a hole opens up in my chest
A void so expansive
That for a second, I cannot breathe in.
And I remember you're gone
You're no longer out there living your life,
In peace and in waves and in sunshine.
I have to keep living mine
No matter what turmoil surrounds it.
And as you probably already know,
There have been some situations lately.
The weather is warm, "June's long days",
and I am sad you will miss this summer
and all the summers after
But I know you are somewhere where
you are still being yourself, and being loved
for exactly that.
I wish I want I would I could
But maybe not ever understanding
Is what keeps us all going.
photo credit: Craig Ross Waterfield