Sunday, August 4, 2013

Letter by Letter Part 2

I am in bed right now, reading, being, taking it all in.
There may or may not be a heating pad.
I went to a late movie, walked there and back along Richmond Street with my sister.
The Conjuring. She hid her face with her hands at the scary parts. I jumped when startled.
But I slept soundly, a big steak dinner and chardonnay helping me drift towards that deep, long weekend sleep.
I'm supposed to be running right now, but I can't even imagine leaving the bed yet.
Such is long-weekend life.

Just coffee. That's all I need to get to really, but see above entry.
I can't move.

Kindness? The next King (it's such an odd concept this royal baby). Is there a K word for lying in bed on a long weekend Sunday and wishing one could fall back asleep for a few nice minutes?
Because that is the K word I need right now.

Late night. Late movie. Langorous morning. Lobster. My sister's first initial.
Love. Latitude. Library card (lost and....found!) Library online. The best thing for this bibliophile since the library itself.

Mike. My husband, my love. I had a psychic moment years ago amidst the dating wreckage that was my life when this weird stillness hit in my mind and somehow I knew I would marry a man named Michael. Don't ask how I came to this conclusion. It was like a 'psychic break' not the psychotic kind, but the insightful kind. I'd never dated a Michael before my Mike.
Missing. I miss him right now, as my vacation date looms closer. It's always this way. Those last few days and hours before I see him are agony.

Night, as in Saturday night, as in a late one.
Hence this runner being bad.

Overdue to run.

Plenty of time. That's what we tell ourselves.

Questions, the endless questions, about life, the why, the how.  About death, why, when?
They go unanswered but we ask them all our lives (well, I do, anyway).

Rest, run, recover, recurrence, religion, re-invent.  
Nothing too glamorous here at R.
Running I guess sums it all up.  The love, the hate, the frustration, the need for motivation, the
weather, the shoes, the sun, the heat. The blue sky has almost finished calling my name this morning and so far I've buried my head under a pillow and managed to ignore it a bit longer.

Slumber, sleep, whatever you want to call it. An escape. Time to star in the melatonin-mini-movies, as my sister has dubbed them. All I know is I enjoy sleep probably too much. I need alot of it. The melatonin is like my glass of warm milk. I fall headfirst into it.

I actually returned to herbal tea (the aptly named Tension Tamer) yesterday. I ...skipped coffee. I can feel the subtle headache that resulted from this decision even now.

UV. I got some sun yesterday. It felt lovely, and so fleeting.

Vision Board. I love my current one, but I need a new one. I have a whole bunch of components lined up. They sit, waiting to be used, on the shelf of my coffee table.

Those honest serving-men (I keep six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew: their names are Why and What and When and How and Where and Who). God knows where that memory came from....A childhood rhyme.
Wrinkle in Time, that ever-present sci-fi classic.


Yogurt. If I'm going to even attempt to run, yogurt should be consumed now. Did you know I know eat it every morning? That I NEVER used to eat breakfast? I mix the vanilla and lemon flavours together. And I buy the big containers and spoon my portion into a small, low drinking glass. Then I save the containers for leftovers, etc. I have ALOT of them now.

Zed, zee, the forgotten letter, like X.
Zzzzzz. That universal English slang for "Damn I'm tired".
And I AM.

I  know this was more of  a stream of consciousness than as actual entry but bear with me. I didn't even make it to the kitchen counter to write this. Ipad is balanced on keyboard, balanced on sheets and blankets. I'm wearing striped pajama bottoms.

There is not alot to report when you work as much as I do. I exchanged an email with a friend this week, (at least I think it was this week) about working. I told her that's all I've been doing. She said it's okay as long as that's what I want to be doing. Well, yes and no. Yes, the time flies. But no, so little else gets done. Ie, shopping, exercise, meal-planning, cleaning, paring down clothes from closets and dressers (I have so much stuff I just do not wear. WHY? Why do I cling to it?)
There are things that do not fit and will likely not fit again. I must let go of them, I must purge.
Work steals the time for this.

Alright, enough relenting. But really, I don't have news. I'm going to Maine in less than 2 weeks. I turn forty in three weeks (less than, gulp).  I am going out Friday night for a good friend's birthda.  I am enjoying the long weekend, that extra day off, that lovely 3rd sleep-in.  My hair has been a bit of a rats nest lately. What can I say? You are reading a blog entry by a girl who desperately needs a vacation. Full stop. Happy Sunday all...

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